So say you work at the manufacturing plant for GM, and you're the guy who sticks the rear view mirror on the car. Along comes the next automobile, and you slap that damn mirror on so fast and so perfectly you can't help yourself - you break into a minute-long celebratory dance. And man, do you look good.

Nevermind that the next 15 cars pass without receiving the accessory, or that by the end of the day you've completed exactly one of the many tasks for which you are paid.

Who cares, right? Besides, man, do you look good.

Welcome to the minds of Ellis Hobbs and Deltha O'Neal, the Prima Donna cornerbacks that make up half of the Patriots ragged secondary this season. Though they are routinely shredded by opposing receivers for 45 of the 60 minutes on any given Sunday, they can often be seen dancing around the field during the other 15 after making what can only be considered marginally acceptable plays. But boy can they dance.

Continue reading "Quality play? That's secondary to this secondary"

The first domino - and a hefty domino it was - in the free-agent pitching puzzle fell this morning, with the announcement that C.C Sabathia took a seven-year offer from the Yankees. And with it came news that the Red Sox, apparently, are "very much involved" in discussions with former Marlin and Blue Jay hurler A. J. Burnett.

Burnett has been insisting on a five-year deal, and nearly signed one with Atlanta last week if you believe the reports that floated around the internet. Personally, I can't see the Sox extending major money and a five-year deal to a guy whose only impressive body of work came in a contract season.

But that's mostly because I don't want to see it.

Burnett is the classic Kerry Wood conundrum - freakish stuff, feeble body. The dude had a hard time staying healthy for more than a month at a time until this season, when it became obvious that huge piles of money were on the table for the taking. So he dutifully produced an 18-win season after never winning more than 12 games in a year before.

Continue reading "Burnett to Boston? Thanks, but no thanks"

A friend of mine, whose wife was pregnant, headed to the hospital last week and hunkered down for the impending labor, promptly updating his Facebook status by noting that he was playing "the waiting game."

Someone followed by quickly posting this witty reply: "Waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungy Hungry Hippos."

Unfortunately I don't have access to the latter. But I can speak from experience that he's right about the former.

Such was the case Saturday night, when we were all waiting to find out if the Ravens would slip up and the door would open for the Patriots. Such was the case at 1 p.m. Sunday, when I was left to watch the Dolphins-Chiefs game on my computer as if I were actually a fan of either team. Such was the case later that evening, when - at long last - the waiting paid off and someone helped out as the Seahawks toppled the stumbling Jets.

Continue reading "The Waiting Game"